Soon after the tour ended in Europe, I had been invited to stay with some friends in San Francisco. Going back home had not been an option for me at this time. I guess the only way to deal with certain unresolved relationships is just to avoid them all together, so I did. I met a lot of people hooked into the art scene while I was in S.F. and its made me think about what I want to create now that I’m not living in the shadow of a great artist. I didn’t realize how incredibly intimidating it can be to be involved with somebody who is so naturally good at what they do, so I’ve been doing an excessive amount of self-editing for the past few years. So much so that I’ve finally faced the fact that I’ve edited myself out of my own destiny. What is my destiny as an artist? I’ve never given myself the green light to even try. Yesterday I spent the whole day going from ferryboat to ferryboat in the Sydney Harbor. In its own way Sydney reminds me of a crazy cocktail made up of San Francisco, L.A., and London all perfectly shaken up. Because I’ve never been here before, I didn’t know what to expect and for the first time I decided not to go to a museum in order to define a city. There is a freedom that I was drinking in with every ride that I took. The sun was beaming down almost beckoning me to come here and although I met some people in San Francisco that have affected me and I won’t bore you with that now, there is plenty of time to talk about all that. But I’m not convinced that a budding artist wouldn’t have a lot to inspire them if they resettled here.
I told Santa about it and she rolled her eyes and said, “ Mon dieu, you can’t be serious Clyde. You’ve only been here a little more than a day and you who never makes an impulsive move is considering moving thousands of miles away from all of us?”
I smiled and drank the champagne that she gave me because it was her way of telling me that she would miss me.