Art by women of women speaks to me about a deeper truth of how "I am" than when
artists approach the naked female body. I am drawn to certain artists more than others.... that is
just being honest.
But I try to remain open so that the public does not feel my preference when they're walking
through the installations.
More than any other approach, when a female artist makes herself the subject and or the object
of her exhibition I find it confrontational. That is not a negative. In some cases the work
makes me feel exposed or upset. In others, I was made an accomplice without knowingly agreeing
to this. Once it turned me on. Once it made my skin crawl.
I welcome these feelings. This is why I wake up in the morning, to be moved to think and feel.
If a visual artist has no impact whatsoever on me, then I am sad. Because sexuality is at the heart
of this exhibition, lack of impact is not an applicable phrase
in this case.
I have been working constantly, basically sleeping at the museum so that the opening would be
perfect and make deadline. So, when Santa asked me to go
to see the live broadcast of a dance show competition, as
disappointed as I was, I didn't want to leave the paintings
or the photographs.
One night I found myself at the end of my rope, which is a place I don't get to often. The vibes in
the museum had been ignited it seemed by a poisonous
substance. Bitchy green monsters were oozing out of one of
the women that works here. That kind of manipulative
person can be wearing on the brain. Once she had left the
building, I began to calm down. I decided to walk around
and double check my reactions to the artwork without this
woman's snide remarks about a lot of the women artists.
Why we can't be more supportive toward each other as a
community of women, I have no idea. Then out of nowhere
I felt someone watching me. I turned around quickly, as
you do, and there he was... the Bitchy-Green-Monster-
Person's on and off boyfriend.
'Why do you let her get to you?' was the question he asked. I answered, 'Let's not give her more
credit than she deserves.' 'What do you mean by that' was
his comeback. 'Look, anybody and I do mean anybody,
who talks so viciously about other contemporaries, artist or
not, will get a reaction from me it's really that simple.'
He walked in without looking away and chose to stand between me and the paintings and
sheepishly requested, 'Will you give me a tour from your
perspective so that I can feel as passionate about these
artists as you do? I work here too Clyde and I need an
injection of this adrenaline that you carry for these artists.'
'What about your relationship with you know who?' I could barely say it. He looked shocked and
shook his head, 'What relationship? You've got to be
kidding. You-Know-Who is a psychopath and a stalker and
I'm not far from getting a restraining order against her.' I
had to laugh just because it is crazy how we all can over-
react to what one person says, not realizing that they live to
stir up trouble more than they need air. I remember folding
my arms possibly to protect myself saying, 'Kyle, I don't
need another stalker in my life, even if it's your one.' Out
of no where he gave me a hug and said 'you can't let
harmless envious people dictate your every move.' Out of
my mouth before I could stop came, 'This is not about my
every move Kyle this is about roaming around with you in
a deserted museum after closing except for security.' He
grinned that grin and said 'Sounds like one of the better
ideas I've come up with in quite a while.'
So I kept a slight distance for all kinds of reasons and began to walk him through the exhibition.